The Art Of Drinking Part 3 (The Professional)
Welcome to Part 3. In Part 1, we covered what can happen and what to expect on your twenty-first birthday. In Part 2, we got to know what kind of personality one develops while under copious amounts of alcohol. Now that we know all that, we can move on to the true art that is drinking.
The following advice can be used in any social event where drinking is involved.
Let’s start where all good drinks are served, the bar. No matter if you are standing or sitting, holding a few dollars out between your index and middle fingers; always hold it so the crease is facing the bar. This is the best method to get a bartender’s attention for a few reasons. One, it shows the bartender you know what you want. Another way to think about this is ‘Money talks and bullsh*t walks.’ The second reason this works best is because bartenders, especially at a popular bar, get orders yelled at them constantly. Doing this lets you seem more understandable and look suave.
Image and looks are the name of the game here.
No matter what you order, TIP after every drink! It doesn’t have to be a lot, no less than two bucks. Perhaps more depending on the type of place.
Always remember to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. Your mother raised a gentleman, not an a$$h@le.
When it comes to ordering your drink, a good rule of thumb is to see what other people have. If you are with friends and they order beers, order a beer. If you want to stand out when your friends order a pale ale or a kind of light beer, order a lager.
Don’t be the weird guy that orders a high ball drink at a sports bar. That’s just…that’s just really odd.
Another thing to consider with your drink choice is the kind of bar you are in. If you are sitting in a sports bar, beer is a good staple to go with. If you are at a fancy dining hall order a mixed drink.
The type of drink you chose changes the approach you should have when drinking.
Beers: Take it slow and sip the beer. The idea here is to make the people around you have the feeling that you are drinking a lot and are able to keep it together.
Mixed Drinks: Again take it slow. If you find yourself taking sip after sip without lowering the glass, have the drink made with extra ice. Yes, it cuts down on the alcohol but remember this is an ‘Art’ not just another Friday night with the boys.
The idea is to get your audience intoxicated, not you. By doing this it gets easier to make them laugh, make them give you some information you have been looking for, or even actively consider your opinion.
Plus when the bartender comes back around and sees you standing up straight while your company is in locked arms singing along to the jukebox it leaves a good impression. Needless to say, people around you will notice the same thing.
Please remember to drink responsibly. Tip your bartenders. Thanks for reading.
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