You Will NEVER Catch Me In A Pair Of Skinny Jeans

I have nothing against people who wear skinny jeans; whatever you like is your prerogative. But I’m just saying you will never catch me in a pair of them.

In this world, there are three kinds of people; people that want to look nice, people that want to be comfy, and people who want to be in the middle.

I, am one of the comfy ones. I enjoy wearing sweats, or larger jeans because it feels comfortable to me. In larger pairs of pants, I have a much wider range of motion. I am able to lift my legs higher, (if need be), than with skinny jeans. And, when I put items like my phone or keys in my pockets, it doesn’t feel like they are driving into my skin.

But, and this is the most important part in my book, my nuts can breath!

Now, without going into too much detail, I basically just need some room up front. I can’t be having my pants constricting like that. I get itchy, claustrophobic, and am one slight flick away from extreme torture.

But with skinny jeans, the fabric is just getting all up in my business. For one, my keys feel like they are about to puncture my skin. And also, if you look really close, you could probably read my text messages from my phone being pressed up against the fabric so tight.

And don’t get me started on shirts either. There better be enough room in both the sleeves and the midsection for air flow. Because I don’t want to be worrying about pulling the back of my shirt down all day/night while I’m trying to have a good time.

Basically, to sum it all up; tight clothes are irritating. They get in the way, and as the day goes on they become a nuisance. If I can’t do jumping jacks, or even just reach something on a high shelf, I know that whatever I’m wearing is TOO DAMN TIGHT!


Do you enjoy tight-fitting clothes? Or are you like me and enjoy your comfy clothes? Let me know in the comments below, or on one of The Midwestern Barfly Gazette’s various social media accounts;

FACEBOOK: The Midwestern Barfly Gazette

TWITTER: @MWBarflyGazette AND @KShermanSports


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