So I know it has been yet another stretch of time since my last article. In all honesty, between life and my job, I haven’t had a second to think long enough about an article topic…Let alone a full article…I wrote three different titles for this article with three different subjects for each one. One might say “C.S. you may have writer’s block.” Thanks, stranger on the internet!
At any rate here is a comical skit I thought of just for you…aren’t you special.
Me: What now?
Brain: You need to come up with an article, you haven’t written anything in a while.
Me: I know, I need to, but I haven’t had time to sit and think about what I want to write about; let alone what the hell I would say for about 500 words.
Brain: But you don’t think. I do all the thinking. You just sit there and censor what I come up with…why do you do that?! I work really hard and think things through thoroughly. I have sound logic and by you censoring me I have to work twice as hard. So I will ask ONE MORE TIME! WHY?! DO YOU DO THAT TO ME?!
Me: Because I don’t want to offend anyone who reads my articles. They may take it the wrong way and then turn to social media and bad mouth how I spoke my mind and the actual meaning of what I said would be lost like a giant game of telephone.
Brian: But isn’t that kind of the audiences’ problem?
Me: How do you mean?
Brain: Well, no matter what you do in life isn’t there always going to be people that disagree with you and see something different than you do?
Me: Well yeah, I suppose you are right. But depending on what I am covering if I say something a certain way and people get offended because they think I am saying that about them or about a group of people they know they may think I’m some kind of bad person. Social media is a mind field.
Brain: ok, hold on that was a lot…ummm…not now stomach! We will get tacos later!!
Brain: … … …
Brain: … … …
Me: * drooling* * staring at the wall* *leans forward to far and slams head on desk*
Brain: … … HUH?! WHAT WAS THAT?!…Oh sh!t dude I’m sorry you ok?! I got distracted, your liver said he wanted to go party tonight and we were looking at bars in the area. My bad.
Me: Ouch! Dude pay attention!
Brain: Ok…ok… I’m here, what were we talking about?
Me: Censoring you because people might get offended by how you state things.
Brain: Oh right! censoring thought…isn’t that what tyrants do?
Me: Well, yeah according to history, tyrants take control of every aspect of peoples’ lives. From their thoughts to their words, even down to peoples’ actions.
Brain: See you don’t want to live under tyranny, do you?
Me: Well, no but I also don’t want to offend anyone or end up on the news for posting a joke or statement that someone finds offensive.
Brian: My God man, what the hell are you talking about?!
Me: I don’t know if you pay attention to the news lately, but it seems like people are getting offended left and right for stating their opinion.
Brain: Aren’t you entitled to your opinion? it seems like everyone is just going through life being lead by their emotions and not thinking logically.
Emotions: Did someone call me?
Emotions: You wanna talk about it?
Emotions: why don’t you ever wanna talk to me?
Brain: Why don’t you stay where I left you!!
Emotions: I don’t like staying near the colon. He doesn’t shower and he keeps burping in my face.
Me: Alright, you clearly are not going to help me, besides this skit is getting a little familiar, if you know what I mean.
Brain: Yeah I see it.
Emotions: what? what are you talking about?
Me: You know that one movie made by that animation studio who is owned by a rodent.
Brain: Yup, say no more.
Emotions: Oh! You mean… *eyes get wide* I LOVE DIS…
Brain: *pushing emotions down* SHUT THE HELL UP, we don’t have the money to actually mention them!
Brian: Dude just write about drinking or cats.
Me: Oh look Kellen sent me an email.
Kellen: Do you have an idea for an article yet?
Me: I have an idea…