It is once again the most gloriest of days, the day where you can let your hair down and your beer gut out…No! NO! Not in the bar I know people here!!
Oh, and it isn’t just any Friday today. This is the Friday before St. Patrick’s Day, so today is extra special. The power of the St. Patrick’s day magic spills over into both Friday and Sunday.
Starting today around 5pm everyone will be hittin’ the bars while wearing some shade of green…except for that creepy dude from the mail room in your building, that guy wants to be pinched…he is weird… d…don’t look at him he might come over here. Follow me this way…
As I was saying, everyone and their uncle will be hittin’ the bars and wearing green. People who aren’t Irish get a pass this one special day of the year. They will speak with an Irish accent…or attempt to. They will sing some Irish songs…or attempt to. Above all, they will definitely drink like a stereotypical Irish man…or attempt to.
As always I’m here to give you a bit of advice before the festivities kick off. For drinking tips, I recommend taking a look at some of my other articles first:
- The Art Of Drinking Part 1 (The Beginning)
- The Art Of Drinking Part 2 (Learning To Fly)
- The Art Of Drinking Part 3 (The Professional)
If you are looking for a place to get a drink I recommend a quick look at:
Now that the self-promotion is out of the way, let’s take a look at some of the issues you will, most likely, run into at any bar during any kind of major holiday.
One issue you will always run into at almost any bar is people…lots…and…LOTS of PEOPLE!!! If you are like me…I hope not because we are each unique individuals that should never be singled out for any reason, you don’t like people in your personal space. And I, being a rather large person…I’m fat…have a large amount of personal space and it annoys me to no end to be shoulder to shoulder with people. So just be prepared to be bumped, nudged, tripped over, and spilled onto.
The second issue you may run into, as I stated at the top of this article, are people trying to act Irish in some way. No matter if it is some guy with a green top hat over his eyes singing a song by everyone ‘s favorite redheaded singer…If they are singing that guys song thinking he is Irish…they are just wrong…The other issues you will run into in this category are men/women trying to do their best Irish accent; the keyword here is TRYING. Growing up I was TRYING every year to catch Santa Claus. Needless to say after a few attempts I stopped trying because I realized it just wasn’t going to happen…so…take the hint Karen…just take the hint.
The most important thing to do on this holiday is to go hang out with friends and family; the people that are most important to you. You don’t have to be Irish to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, because the best way to celebrate any cultures holiday is by spending time with loved ones and the ones you hold dear.
Now, if you will excuse me. I am being summoned to the dance floor by a fine lady who may have just stolen my keys. Till the next time, ‘May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live.’
HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY