How Would A “New Age” Kid Deal With Dog Shit On Their Shoes?

I just want to say, I am privileged enough to be a part of a rather distinct class. I am part of the class that hasn’t stepped in dog shit in their lifetime. Granted, I have been the victim of stepping in a wad a gum before, but never dog feces.

But this got me thinking; it got me thinking about how a “New Age” kid would deal with getting dog poop on their shoe? What would their reaction be once they step on that steamy pile of corn and soy-based butt truffles?

Now let me explain, because the term “New Age” may be confusing to folks nowadays. When I say “New Age,” I mean kids between the ages of 5 and 15. And I make this the age range because I see these being the two biggest ages separating forms of transportation.

Once you hit 5, this is the age where you are more likely to start going outside and playing in the grass. Then, once you hit the age of 16, you are more likely to be driving and hanging out in malls and such rather than outside in the yard.

But I look at this scenario like when I stepped in a wad of gum. When I stepped in gum, basically the first thing I did was look at the bottom of my shoe and say; “Damnit!” Then all I did was walk into the store I was passing, ask if they had something sharp I could use, and peel off whatever I could.

(Granted, I could have used a stick or something outside to get it off. But when you are in a shopping center, it’s rather tough to find a tool outside to get the gum off).

With kids nowadays however, it could be a whole different story. I mean, here is what I picture;

The kid is walking with his friends; they are all texting and using social media like this new generation does. All of a sudden, little Sullivan steps in a fresh pile of keister cakes. His brand new white gym shoes are just covered in brown and grey doody.

He cries out; “I got poo on my shoe, I got poo on my shoe.” His buddies around him are concerned, not knowing what to say to him. They all bust out their cellphones and start to post it on social media, while Sullivan is crying out; “Snap my mom, I don’t know what to do. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!”

The friends begin to panic, and one of them texts Sullivan’s mom from his phone. She receives it and, if she is anything like me, becomes immediately ashamed of the pussy that she has raised. She begins to calm him down, and explain to him it’s not the end of the world. She tells him to get a stick and some water and just wipe it off his shoe.

Long story short, I’m willing to bet it takes Sullivan and all four of his friends roughly 15-20 minutes to clean his shoe because they didn’t want to get any fanny fudge on their hands.

Now, the upsetting part is my hypothetical situation is not the farthest from the truth. Kids nowadays will become wrapped up in such a small situation, and make it seem like the world is ending. And the parents are normally not as cool as Sullivan’s mom. Alot of the parents would probably go to the owners of the land, or EVEN THE CITY, and ask them to pay for damages done by the said poop. It’s sad if you ask me.

Basically, all I’m saying is that we need to teach the kids to adapt to their surroundings. We need to show them that if something happens, they need to be able to use what they have at their disposal to fix the problem efficiently. Because if not, we are screwed as a society in the future ladies and gentlemen. We are screwed beyond all belief!


Have you ever stepped in dog shit? Do you know any kids that have stepped in dog shit and didn’t know how to handle themselves? Let me know in the comments section below.


  • Nice article.
    Being a person who works outside and travels through lawns all day, I’ve had my share of land mines. If you like the homeowner you move on. If not I scrape off on their front stoop. It pisses them off, but fuck em! They don’t pick up the crap in their yard, where I travel through everyday. It’s called being a dog owner.


  • I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but
    your blogs really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your
    website to come back later. All the best


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