“Sexiled 101”

If you have ever had a roommate, then you know about being “sexiled.” It’s one of the most annoying situations that happens in that situation, but as a fellow “bro,” it’s your civic duty to be there for your bro.

Without going too deep into the “bro code,” we will explore the depths of what is called “sexiled.”

“Sexiled,” for those who are unfamiliar, is when you are exiled from your room/apartment so that your roommate can have sex with someone.

This can happen at any time. Nighttime, afternoon, morning (if your bro has that much game), or anything in between. It can even happen at the most inopportune times; such as when you’re taking a shit, playing video games, or even eating cereal while you’re watching Grey’s Anatomy in the living room with a disco-ball spinning about.

When you are called upon to be “sexiled” from your room/apartment, you must grab whatever you’ll need for that span of time so that you won’t have to return again. Whether it’s snacks, brews, your computer, or whatever else you can think of; grab the NECESSITIES!

The reason is because you CAN’T come back until the time specified by your roommate. In order to remain the optimal “bro” to your “bro,” you need to respect the time limit that is set. If you don’t, there are two things that could happen;

The first would be that you would see your roommate in a position that you would NEVER want to see your roommate in. That’s just a dangerous situation, and the more you keep yourself from it, the easier your life will be.

Secondly, you are going to need the room/apartment to yourself at some point. You need to be able to accept the boundaries needed by your roommate if you expect them to accept your boundaries.

But when it comes to “sexileing” someone, don’t be an asshole. Don’t be someone that is going to put your roommate out at garbage times.

For example; don’t “sexile” your friend when they are already sleeping/in the process of going to sleep. That’s a garbage move, and you basically look like a needy asshole if you try and pull this maneuver.

Also, DON’T try and send your roommate packing if he already has multiple people over. If it’s just one friend, that is fine cause it’s very easy to just head out and have a beer. But if your roommate is having a party or a small get together, it’ll be best to find another place to go.

Overall, being “sexiled” is a right of passage in the life of a young man. Whether it’s in college, or as a roommate in life, there will be a time where you are asked to leave the sanctity of your room/apartment in order to help your roommate score with someone. In the end, you just have to bite the bullet.

But if they are going to be an asshole, then screw them; (no pun intended). They can find another place then.


Have you ever been “sexiled” by your roommate? Tell your stories below! And leave any other thoughts in the comments as well.

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