I would be HIGHLY surprised if you are a beer drinker, and you haven’t seen/used a “beer sleeve” in your life. A “beer sleeve” has become one of the most recognizable items in the barware game since the glass. It’s easily portable (unless you use one of those fancy bullshit metal ones), and normally makes an appearance at tailgates, barbecues, and other functions.
But at a bar? I mean who uses a “beer sleeve” at a bar? And more importantly, who brings THEIR OWN sleeve to a bar?
Last week, I had that question answered. I actually saw someone in the “wild” prove me wrong.
I was having one of those days where nothing could go right. It got to the point where I just needed a stop at a bar to have a beer and relax.
I walked into the establishment, took my seat roughly in the center of the bar, and ordered my beverage. I looked up at one of the many TV’s on the wall; Duke and Kentucky were playing in the College Basketball opener. As I watched the game, I started to survey the room; “people watching,” as many people do at bars.
At the end of the bar, I noticed a rather large group of gentlemen begin to congregate. A majority of them were dressed in pocket tees and hats; a real collection of “bros” to say the least. I didn’t have a problem with that; live your life how you want. What I DID have a problem with was what was inside of one of their shirt pockets.
It was without a doubt the “broiest” of them all that annoyed me the most. He started, as I overheard him putting in his order, by INSISTING on having his beer be in a can/bottle. Nothing from the tap, nothing in a glass, just a can or bottle from the cooler.
Then, when the bartender gave him his beverage, he pulled a lime green item made of fabric from his shirt pocket. I watched in confusion as he slipped this item onto his beer. Once he finished, it finally dawned on me…….
HE WAS USING A “BEER SLEEVE!!”
I mean, who brings a “beer sleeve” to a bar? Who is douchey enough to say; “Hey, I don’t think this bar is capable enough to give me a cold beer.”
Actually, I could just picture this guy having a collection of these at his house, just deciding which to bring. And then he selects his “I Dig Big Jugs” sleeve and says; “HELL YEA, I’m gonna get some tail tonight.”
No sir, you’re not going to be getting “tail” tonight. What you will be getting is strange looks from the surrounding members of the bar, followed by laughter and sarcastic eye rolls by said members.
Nobody brings “beer sleeves” from home to a bar. It’s just not the time, nor the place for it. Some may say; “Why Kellen? My “beer sleeves” are super cool! Everyone would love them.”
Look at it from this point of view; what if you were trying to pick up a chick with that thing on your beer? Instead of her paying attention to you, she’s just going to be staring at the eye sore that is your beer. She’ll then think of you as a child, and all hope will be lost for that weekend.
But what are your thoughts on bringing a “beer sleeve” to a bar? Do you think it’s a good idea? Or do you believe it looks idiotic like I do? Let me know in the comments section below.
(The use of “beer sleeve” is due to the fact the more well-known term is a trademarked name)