Late Night Drinking Thoughts 6

Every once in a while, we need to have some time to think. We need to be able to sit with our thoughts and allow them to percolate for a little bit.

And, without a doubt, a little bit of alcohol has been known to help accelerate the process. Trust me, if you think that a night of drinking doesn’t bring about REAL thoughts and emotions, then you really haven’t lived;

If you put the words “beer connoisseur” in your dating profile, there is a good chance that you aren’t one. This goes out to the 18-22 year olds that claim to know their brews. Trying to figure out which 30-rack will get you the most beer for the least amount of money doesn’t make you a connoisseur of beer. Just makes you a cheapskate……like me.

(Granted, I love my cheap beers. I am a cheapskate, what do you expect? But I at least know a good beer from a bad one).

If you pay more than five dollars for a cup of coffee, you need to get your priorities checked. I mean come on now, it’s a cup of coffee for crap sake. It’s supposed to do one thing; to wake your ass up. There’s no need to pay that much for a quick pick-me-up in the morning.

And hell, there are plenty of places that will do the job for MUCH CHEAPER! Try the gas station for starters. Fill your cup up with a delicious brew, mix in your cream and/or sugar, and be on your merry way. And I am VERY confident you will not leave that gas station spending more than two bucks on it; maybe even $1.50.

(But some folks out there wouldn’t be caught DEAD doing that. #ItsAllAboutTheLabel)

If you pull a “bump and run,” you should be banned from every bar in America for the rest of your life. What do I mean by “bump and run?” It’s where you are in a bar that’s packed, and accidentally bump into someone, which inadvertently spills some of their beer. Instead of offering them a fresh brew to replace it, you just walk off and lose them in the crowd.

This, my friends, is what we call a dick move. You should NEVER run away from a spilled beer. Instead, you should apologize for the “party foul” and offer to replace your mistake.

 

Do you have any other drinking thoughts that have flowed through your mind? Let me know in the comments section below.

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