Midwestern “Nice”

I will bet dollars to donuts most of you have never heard of this before. To be honest, I never heard of this either; that is until recently.

While driving to work, I was listening to my morning radio talk show…by the way, there really aren’t that many true “talk shows” on the traditional radio anymore. Has anyone noticed this?…anyway, during the talk show they were having a conversation about how people talk to each other. They talked about how different regions bring up criticisms or problems with other people in different ways. Of course, this was all done in jest. (For those not in the know, jest means ‘a thing said or done in amusement; a joke.’)  But even as a joke, this was kind of a fun thing to think about. How do different regions of the USA bring up problems they have with people within the community?

From sayings to just being outright blunt, people bring up grievances with one another in rather entertaining ways.

A good example of what I’m referring to is in the southern states whenever someone screws ups, or says something that another person doesn’t agree with, you might hear something like ” awww, bless your heart.” But if you translate that into ‘Midwestern talk’ it means “hey buddy, no that’s not how (insert topic) works here”.

That being said, there is even a difference between how people from Chicago talk and criticize one another, to how someone from the other parts of the state. While someone who is from Illinois, but not from Chicago, might say something akin to the “hey buddy” line listed above. A person from Chicago might say something more aggressive.

I think another example is needed here, for clarity sake.

alcohol bar black background close up

Photo by Prem Pal Singh on Pexels.com

An average guy, let’s call him Jake, walks into a bar and orders a drink. While reaching for his glass, he accidentally knocks over another patrons’ drink. Now, Jake being the upstanding and polite human-being his parents brought him up to be, eminently apologizes and pays for the patron’s drink. The patron, at first, looks at him sternly and listens to Jake apologize while looking at him with an angry glare. He politely bites his tongue and accepts Jake’s apology and thanks Jake for paying for a replacement.

Alternatively, if Jake causes the same accident in a bar in Chicago, something like the following may occur;

As Jake goes to apologize for knocking over the drink, the patron would immediately demand that Jake pays for their drink.

A few things of note here. First, Jake really needs to have better spatial awareness. Two, neither of these situations are handled “bad” or “wrong” by Jake or either patron. However, I know the situation I would prefer.

Taking this scenario to other regions of the country Jake might have the following said to him:

New York City: “heyyy, A$$H*!@ you gonna pay fur dat?!”

Rest of the Northeast: *large exhale* *looks at the spilled drink, looks back at Jake.* *repeat until the drink is replaced*

Southern States (excluding Texas): “You’re as ’bout as graceful as a hog in slop” *than they go on to say something really nice because of southern hospitality.*

Texas: “You, me…Duel outside at high noon”

Utah: … … …*There are no bars here* *standing in front of a Morman Church*… … …

Rest of the western states: “You spilled my Microbrew!”

 

Some results may vary, depending on the amount the angered party has already consumed.

Also, all of these were stereotypes and should not be taken literally. This was all for fun.

 

Bye, buddy,

 

C.S. 

 

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