5(ish) Annoying Traits That Can Ruin A First Date
You ever have one of those really bad dates? I’m not talking about just not clicking as a couple; I’m talking about all of the ins and outs of the date. I’m talking about the hygiene, what is said on the date……EVERYTHING!! So if you meet any of these five individuals on your first date, just know that there are plenty of other fish in the sea;
1. No-Deodorant Ned: This poor bastard just hasn’t come across the magic of a DEODORANT STICK! And it’s sad, because what people think of him can be skewed greatly just by the nasty odor that is coming from his pits.
Buddy, if someone can’t stand a basic two-hour movie sitting next to you, then that should be your wakeup call.
1.A. Too-Much Cologne Ted: THIS poor bastard thinks that WHATEVER twelve-dollar cologne that he bought from the supermarket before the date is AMAZING. He’s the person that uses the ENTIRE bottle to cover his wrists and neck, thinking that the smell is what will get him laid.
What that cologne really does is alert the restaurant that there may be a chemical leak nearby. So just remember; less is MORE!
2. Laughing Liza: Oh my goodness, SO MUCH LAUGHING! It doesn’t matter if you are actually telling a joke, or just ordering the calamari for the appetizer; she is ALWAYS LAUGHING. The best way to combat this is to try and get her talking about herself, and hope that you can be the most dull person that EVER stepped into that bar.
3. Jiggle-Foot Jennifer: If the laughing wasn’t enough to make you want to stab yourself, the jiggling foot will put you over the edge. And the worst part is, with your luck, your date will ALWAYS find the wobbly barstool just to INCREASE the annoying sound.
4. One-Up William: Trust me ladies and gentlemen, the WORST thing you can do is try and “one-up” your date. No one is going to think you are “the shit” when you always focus on trying to tell a story that is better than theres.’ It’s ridiculous!
5. Poor-Manners Paul: If you have poor manners when eating, then you can just kiss any kind of relationship GOODBYE! And I don’t mean just elbows on the table, I’m talking about any of the following;
- Eating with your mouth open
- Not holding your utensils correctly
Am I forgetting any? Are there any traits that you’ve seen on dates before that annoyed you? Let me know in the comments section below, or on one of our various social media accounts;
FACEBOOK: The Midwestern Barfly Gazette