People Need To Learn How To Walk Through A Store With A Cart

photo of red and silver grocery cart

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Today is July 3rd; the day before one of the most patriotic holidays in our country. And what is everyone doing? Well, they’re clogging the lanes at the store; making sure to piss off EVERY person that is trying to just get in and out as quickly as possible.

“But Kellen, what do you mean by clogging? They have every right to shop in that space as you do. You’re just being crazy.”

First off, STOP catering to these fools. They’re not shopping; they’re PUTZING AROUND. They’re doing things like t-boning their cart against every stupid sample cart in that store, forcing all other customers into basically a “bottle-neck” to get around them.

And not only that, they stop at the most inconvenient times too. It even happened today when I was shopping; this woman just came to a dead stop directly in front of me, and walked away from her cart to go look at something. If I wasn’t paying attention, I would have ran right into her cart.

But as the brilliant minds of this world that came before me, I learned from the situation and I adapted to meet it’s demands. Granted, the way I adapted was rather petty some may say; but I still adapted.

It was quite simple, and brilliant at the same time. When the customer would walk away from their cart, all I would do is clip their cart with mine. But I wouldn’t just lightly bump into it and walk away; I would throw most of my weight into it. I would make sure that I made as much noise as I could, with the sound of metal hitting metal reverberating through aisle six. I would even throw in a sarcastic; “Oh shoot, my bad” to really play it up. Then, once the customer would look back to inspect what happened, I would wave at them while flashing the BIGGEST smile I could.

Now I get it, this is a very petty thing to do. But, if I’m not going to be like this, then who will? If I’m not going to teach clueless people like this that they are IN FACT clueless, then who will?

Honestly, I think I’m doing society a favor here. I believe that doing this will give nitwits in grocery stores the “wakeup call” that tells them; “Hey, maybe it IS ME!”

(………..or maybe I’ll just get yelled at by a 62 year old housewife who has an affinity for cheap merlot and pickle slices. It’s really a 50/50 shot).

 

Do you absolutely HATE when people do this? Do you have any stories of this happening? Let me know in the comments section below, or on my twitter at @KShermanSports 

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