I’m Not A Drunk Texter, I’m A Confidence Messenger

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For the record, I have been told before that I am a “notorious drunk texter.” I’ve been told that when I have a relatively good buzz going, that I will start to text the most random people in my phone.

But seriously, who wants to be called a “drunk texter?” Instead, call me a “Confidence Messenger!”

“Kellen, what the hell is a “Confidence Messenger?””

Well, to me, a “Confidence Messenger” is mainly a “Drunk Texter”…….but fancier! A “Confidence Messenger” is someone who exudes confidence in their messages, even if that confidence is aided by “outside circumstances.” (#WinkWinkNudgeNudge)

Let me explain; when some people drink, they like to send provocative photos or explicit messages to individuals on their phone. For some reason, the alcohol that is flowing through their body is making them think that a stupid message like that will INSTANTLY make someone like them even more.

But when it comes to how I “Confidently Message,” I take a different route. For some reason, I like to send random messages to people; stuff like “What’s up,” “How you doin,” or just various gifs that I find funny. Hell, I actually had an entire conversation with someone THROUGH GIFS at one point in my life.

And why do I do that? It’s because I am CONFIDENT that I will get a response. It’s because I am CONFIDENT that the recipient of the message will find it amusing in some way, shape, or form. Even if they don’t, I still have the confidence to BE MYSELF!

So take it from me; be a confident S.O.B. Don’t let the negative stigmas related to “drunk texting” keep you from expressing yourself when you’re a little fucked up. Just let your confidence take the reigns, and hope that you don’t have the cops called on you by the end of the night.

(But trust me, if the alcohol is telling you to take a snap of “little willy” for your crush; it’s best to just ignore that idea.)


Are you known for texting people while you’re intoxicated? Do you have any stories about it? Let me know in the comments section below, or on my Twitter at @KShermanSports

(P.S. Text at your own risk! Nothing in this article is saying the message you are texting is a smart or dumb idea. NOTHING in this article is saying that whatever you’re about to text while you’re drunk WIILL/WILL NOT WORK. #YouveBeenWarned)

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