The Chinese Food Story

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Honestly, if you can make the delivery driver laugh when you order food; chances are HIGH that it’ll make for a great story.

So just the other week, C.S. and I decided to have a couple of beers and order some Chinese Food. It was one of those nights where you just want to order something greasy, see what’s on Netflix, and forget about the stresses from the week.

Fast forward about 45ish minutes, the doorbell rings; the delivery driver had finally arrived with our food. I went up to answer the door and fill out the receipt; you know, normal delivery stuff. But as soon as my pen hit that receipt to add the tip onto the bill, a sound emanated from downstairs.

The problem though is, this wasn’t a sound that I was expecting. This wasn’t a creak in the house, a loud TV, or pool balls being broken up. This…….this was a sound that would cause me to hold back tears of laughter as I stood in front of the man that was delivering my General Tso’s Chicken.

That sound, was C.S. yelling; and what he yelled, was this;


I stood at the doorway, panicking, not knowing what to say at first. As I was writing the total on the bill, I looked over at the delivery driver……….and the SMILE that he got on his face was PRICELESS! It went from a nice “customer service smile,” to one that stretched from ear to FUCKING ear.

I was dying inside; it took EVERY fiber of my being to NOT start cracking up. And all I could muster up was; “Please don’t pay attention to my stupid friend down there.”

And sure enough, that was met with a; “So what do you guys have planned for the night?” from the driver. I mean, I don’t blame him for asking; because when you hear “Are the hookers here yet,” it’s more than likely going to bring up some questions.

But once he asked about our plans, that was my queue to send him on his way. I handed him the receipt, took the food from him, and said; “Have a good night sir, drive safe.”

C.S., you are like a brother to me. But……..I hate you for putting me through that.


Have you ever had a situation like this come up? Let me know in the comments section below, or on my twitter at @KShermanSports

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