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Man, it’s been a while since I did one of these now hasn’t it? But after countless weeks of deliberation, and the necessary alcohol to help formulate my thoughts; I have accumulated enough words that PISS ME OFF to create a brand new “5 Words” article.

However, before you start to read this one, make sure you catch up with the other two “editions” below. There, you will find even more words and phrases that are used in our society that annoy the ever-loving crap out of me;

5 Words/Phrases That I ABSOLUTELY HATE!

5 MORE Words/Phrases That I ABSOLUTELY HATE!

Now that that’s taken care of, let’s get into what you REALLY came here for. So sit back, relax, and enjoy;

1. Non-Alcoholic: Ok, I get it; some people have a medical condition when it comes to alcohol, but still like the taste of beer. And if that’s the case for you, then that’s fine. I’ve got nothing wrong with that.

HOWEVER, if you’re going to criticize everyone else for drinking, and ask why there aren’t enough alcohol-free options; then that’s where we have a problem! If that’s the case, then you need to take your “pure” happy ass back to the convent you came from, and leave the partying to us. Because as the old saying goes; “No good story starts with a salad.”

2. Not Today: Seriously, the amount of times that I hear a customer say this to a cashier makes me sick. I feel like every time I checkout at a retail establishment, I hear someone say this phrase to the kid behind the counter.

Now I get it, not every question that the cashier throws out is going to appeal to everyone. But you don’t have to outright lie to the kid and say that you’ll sign up for their thing another day. Because to be completely honest, that kid already knows you’re full of shit. That kid is laughing in his/her head and saying; “BULLSHIT! You’re going to tell me that exact same “spiel” next week when you come back here to buy more worthless crap.”

3. Humblebrag: Honestly, when I hear this word, I picture an entitled rich kid telling his friends that his parents just bought him a brand new “souped-up” BMW. I picture this kid telling his friends; “Quick humblebrag, but the ‘rents just got me a brand new, fully loaded BMW for my half-birthday!!”

……….I hate rich kids! And I HATE the word “humblebrag!”

4. Whatever: Let’s get something straight here, I’m not saying that the ACTUAL word “whatever” is annoying. It has plenty of necessary uses in our every day life. HOWEVER, the reason that I get annoyed with this word is when it is used to try and end a conversation.

You’ve heard it used in this way before, don’t lie. You’ve heard it used by a teenager during an argument that they have lost. You’ve heard it from a customer to a cashier that wouldn’t take her coupon that expired two-years ago. It’s basically a way to show that you didn’t get what you wanted, so you would like that particular conversation you are currently in to end.

5. Cray Cray: Honestly, if you use “Cray Cray” on a regular basis, and not as a joke once in a while; you are an annoying person. Seriously, you sound like a bird with a speech impediment!

“But Kellen, what am I supposed to use? “Cray Cray” is MY THING; it’s the one phrase that TRULY speaks to me, and is PERFECT to explain my feelings at that given moment. If I can’t use that, then HOW will I ever speak again???”

Well, anonymous article critic, it’s very simple; USE THE WORD CRAZY!!! The English language has done all of the work for you. It has already created these specific words, like crazy, so that you don’t have to sound like a crow on crack at your next family luncheon. Stop trying to be “different;” you sound stupid!


Do you have any words that annoy you? Let me know in the comments section below, and on Twitter at @KShermanSports

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