This Was One Of Those Moments Where You Just Have To Shake Your Head, And Keep Drinking Your Beer……
Have you ever been sitting at the bar, minding your own business, and then all of a sudden a random headache starts to come over you? And I’m not talking about an alcohol induced headache, I’m talking about a “drunk moron interfering with your good time” induced headache.
So it was just the other weekend; myself and a buddy of mine were just hanging out at the bar, enjoying a beer, and watching the game. But then, almost out of NOWHERE, our night ended up changing for the worst.
Over my right shoulder, I heard a loud clanging and banging sound that rattled across the bar. I took a peek to see what it was, and it was two drunk “besties” stumbling through all of the chairs and tables to get to the bar.
(I say “besties” there because that was what they were screaming out the entire time they were there. “WE’RE BESTIES!” “THIS IS MY BESTIE” “BESTIES FOREVER!”)
But sadly, that moment that I looked to see what was happening might as well have been my MOST regrettable decision of that night. Hell, that might as well have been my MOST regrettable decision of my entire week. Because as I looked to survey the situation, I made eye-contact with one of the “besties.” As soon as that happened, I quickly turned away and went back to my beer.
As I turned back around, I started to hear the clanging and banging intensify. I started to pray; “Please don’t come over here, please don’t come over here, please don’t come over here……
Sure enough, they came right to us. And they didn’t just walk up to us, they stumbled in like a couple of run away freight trains bulldozing into the bar. Hell, I was surprised that they didn’t go flying OVER the counter with how fast they were moving.
The one to my right smelled like a mixture of bean burritos, wine, and stale cigarettes. A small bit of yellowish goo was sitting directly to the right of her lip; possibly from “letting go” of the alcohol that she HAD consumed earlier in the night. Then, she opened her mouth, and let out a “How are you doing baby?”
……..it took every ounce of my being to NOT “let loose” all over the bar myself. When she began to talk, the smell I mentioned before basically smacked me right across the face. Through a few coughs and gags, I was able to let out a; “Good, *cough*, how are you?”
She began to stroke my hand, looking at me and saying; “How about you buy me a drink baby?” I froze, staring at my hand, trying to quickly read the situation that was currently happening. BUT, I did not show fear; they can smell fear.
I look over at my buddy, who was dealing with the other “bestie” that was next to him. Then, he looked at me, and a look of disgust came over our faces. And almost in unison, we both look at each girl and say; “NOPE!”
Let’s just say, they were NOT happy with that! They both stood up, slamming their stools into the bar, screaming; “You’ll never find someone like us! We’re out of here!” And, to our surprise, the rest of the bar actually applauded as they started to walk away.
But to top it all off, as a response to their outburst, my buddy shouted out “GOOD” as they stumbled out the door.
I think it’s safe to say, it wasn’t a boring night!
Do you have any similar stories about drunk people? Let me know in the comments below, and on Twitter at @KShermanSports